Live without Regrets
by sixbynine
Summary: I don't live with regrets, you know that Yumi, I’d rather this was a huge mistake we can laugh about later than it be a huge regret that tears us apart" Ikkaku hates the what if's, he rather do and apologise than live without ever knowing.


I've gotten strangely obsessed with this pairing whilst watching some old bleach episodes....

It's odd...i don't especially like Ikkaku or Yumichika (esp Yumi...his name is so annoying!!) but for some reason i love the thought of them together XD

it was meant to be a quick 1500 word semi pwp...but as usual it spiralled out of control XD

enjoy ^^

* * *

He didn't know what possessed him to follow him, didn't know why he ever agreed to this ridiculous idea and he didn't want to know what made him stick around after his companion slid onto the floor and began to twist his body amongst those already there.

Ikkaku was not a club person, he hated the noise, the people, the fact the drinks were brightly coloured and came with sparkly decorations. He hated the way the girls eyed him up like candy and the way the men glared at him as if it were his fault. He liked to drink, no doubt about it, but he preferred to drink in the comfort of his own home, or someone else's or a nearby hill or perhaps a particularly comfortable rooftop and if pushed, with the right people, he could be convinced to enter a pub. But clubs he's hated, with a passion.

Yumichika on the other hand viewed drinking outside as a vile and untidy action and pubs were for ugly men, he loved the bright colours and the thick atmosphere. He loved the beauty of the movement and pureness of the moment, yes the drinks were over priced and somewhat odd, the closeness of sweaty bodies was somewhat repulsive, but the rhythmic action of a roomful of people pressed against each moving in harmony was a beauty he could not ignore.

He didn't know what possessed him to drag him along, he'd asked before and accepted the grumpy refusal without much thought. But tonight he had stubbornly held on, pestering until the other man had given in, exasperated and annoyed. He wasn't blind he could feel Ikkaku's eyes on him, and he felt the thrill run up his spine with that knowledge. He'd come to terms with his affection for his companion since their days in Rukongai. He couldn't remember a time when he hadn't loved the battle hardened man, he'd kept quiet, certain Ikkaku would not share his quiet acceptance of those feelings, he'd watched from the position of closest friend happy to be Ikkaku's most important person even if he was not part of the numerous women that shared his bed.

But tonight he could feel those dark eyes watching him, and paid close attention, Ikkaku had never shown anything even remotely approaching interest in him, at the very least this would be fun to watch develop. He slid his eyes open, wrapping one arm around the neck of the person behind him, he had a vague notion the person was male, not that it mattered to Yumichika in the slightest. His eyes slid up from the floor, eyeing up Ikkaku deliberately from his toes, he was drunk enough not to care if this backfired, and drunk enough to know he could blame alcohol tomorrow if Ikkaku brought it up. His eyes met those still watching him and Ikkaku jolted as if just realising Yumichika was aware of him, he blinked and the moment was gone, turning he skulked out of the club as fast as he could without making it seem like he was running away. Yumichika sighed and stepped away from the crowd, suddenly he didn't feel dancing. He sat down at the bar, ordering a drink and peering into it frowning slightly,

"Don't think I've seen you look so down since the last time you had to punch a guy for accusing you of hitting on his girl" the bartender grinned at him, Yumichika was known in most clubs for ending up in fights, quick fights that were finished with one blow from the deceptively strong man. Drunk men seemed to think he was an easy target, and he hated having to dirty himself by beating them down, it was so ugly to get into a fist fight, especially when you knew you were going to win.

Yumichika just raised an eyebrow at her stirring the drink

"You know he's been staring at you all night"

"I know" he said, sometimes he loved talking to the bar staff, other nights he really wished they were less friendly

"Just saying" she held her hands up and moved away, she knew him well enough to know when to back off

Yumichika sighed under his breath, the evening was ruined anyway, no point in staying. He finished the last of his drink and stood up moving silently to the exit.

"Ikkaku?" he stopped, surprised. The man was slouched against the wall, he grunted and pushed off from the wall

"I expected you to be longer" he said, his words just slurring at the edges giving away his inebriated state

"It stopped being fun when you left" Yumichika was honest even when he wasn't drunk, after he was drunk his thoughts slipped from his mouth without passing through any internal censor, not that he cared most of the time. He held Ikkaku's gaze,

"Whatever, I'm going home" He walked away, hands shoved deep into his pockets, in the wrong direction

Yumichika sighed, sometimes he was worse than Yachiru "Ikkaku, your house isn't that way" he reached out and grabbed his shoulder, intending to stop him before he got to far ahead, instead he found himself shoved and pinned against the wall of the building next to the club, he let out a gasp as his breath was knocked from him

"Why won't you just leave me alone?" Ikkaku was muttering into his neck, Yumichika seriously doubted he was even aware of the grip he had on his arms, let alone the fact he was talking out loud "Why do you have to drag me into everything, all I wanted was to die fighting, and then you showed up" Ikkaku sighed heavily "ass" he muttered, resting his head on Yumichika's shoulder and a gentle snore told him Ikkaku had passed out on him. Rolling his eyes he slung the man over his shoulder and leapt up onto the rooftops, Ikkaku would kill him if he found out he'd been carried through the streets of Seireitei, landing softly on Ikkaku's roof his slid in through an open window and deposited the sleeping man on the floor while he hunted for a futon to unroll.

Quickly he spread the thick mat out and carried Ikkaku over to it, covering him with blanket, he paused turning to look at his companion. He'd never seen Ikkaku drunk enough to actually pass out before,

"It's unsightly to pass out on someone" he chastised pouting to himself before his expression softened "What's wrong with you, idiot?" he asked softly sitting back to watch the man sleep, he wasn't much tired anymore and he didn't trust Ikkaku not to choke himself in his current state. He leant back against the wall, a small clock telling him he had been there almost two hours and it was almost dawn, he hadn't realised they'd been out for that long. Stretching he gently removed the feathers from his eye and undid the hairpiece he had in, removing his shirt and wrapping the items up, he set it down on the cupboard beside him and turned back to find two dark eyes closely watching him,

"You're supposed to be asleep" he said

"And you're supposed to be at your house" Ikkaku's voice was clear now, no doubt he was still well above sober but he was back within normal Ikakku drunk levels

"Well someone had to take you home, and there doesn't seem much point in leaving now it's almost morning. Besides choking on your own vomit would be such an ugly way to go" he couldn't resist goading Ikkaku

He snorted, eyes still raking over Yumichika, he rolled over standing and walking over crouching in from of the smaller man,

"You look much nicer without all that crap on your face and hair" he said one hand coming up to brush a stray strand away from Yumichika's eyes, he froze not sure how to deal with this, Ikkaku never got close, no matter what he'd been drinking "you're going to get cold sitting over here, seems rude of me when there's a perfectly good sized bed over there" Yumichika could feel Ikakku's hand shaking

"Are you sure?" he asked, his eyes meeting with Ikkaku's

"No, but I don't live with regrets, you know that Yumi, I'd rather this was a huge mistake we can laugh about later than it be a huge regret that tears us apart"

Yumichika had forgotten how eloquent Ikkaku could be when he put his mind to it "What makes you think we could even survive this if your wrong?" he tried to hide the tremor in his voice

"Because no matter what you do, you'll always be my closest friend and nothing would stop that, and I know you're the same for me"

He was right Yumichika realised, he had never once considered the possibility they would not be friends, he had hidden his feeling simply because it was easier, not because he thought Ikkaku would hate him for them. That would not change, no matter what happened, if they slept together and Ikkaku woke up tomorrow and refused to acknowledge it, or told him he hated it, Yumichika would still love him and Ikkaku would still be his friend, he would show up at the division and laugh at him for refusing to join in the training and Yumichika would express his distaste for an activity that ugly, they would move on and it would be forgotten or become an amusing story they reminisced about when drinking. His brow hardened, the decision made and he moved forward,

"No running away now" he said smiling "It's ugly to hide" and he pressed his lips firmly against Ikkaku's running his tongue along the seam humming his appreciation when those lips parted and a tentative tongue swept out to meet his.

Suddenly Ikakku's hands were everywhere, the hesitancy he had been displaying gone, replaced with quick decisive movement. Yumichika was pressed down onto the floor, his arms held above his head and Ikakku knelt above him, he felt a thrill pass down his spine, this was the Ikkaku he fantasised about, the rough, animalistic side that would pin him down and take him hard because the man knew him well enough to know Yumichika was not the pale and weak man he looked like, but a hard and strong fighter with more than enough muscle to hold his own.

"Yumi…" Ikkaku breathed close to his ear sending shivers down his spine "Is this really ok?"

"If I said no would you stop?"

"I don't think I could"

Yumi smiled up at the man "You just answered your own question" he said softly, kissing him gently and bringing his hands up to pull Ikkaku's shirt off over his head

Ikkaku paused only for a brief moment, and then his was everywhere, his hands pushing dark strands of hair upwards and sneaking into unzipped trousers. There was no hesitancy, the movements strong and hard, whatever doubts he may have been having were quietened for the moment.

Yumichika groaned as a callused hand wrapped itself around him and he brought his legs up, using his unnatural flexibility to push Ikkaku's trousers down with his feet, hissing as the hot flesh pressed eagerly into him, smearing sticky fluid across his abdomen

"You are beautiful" Ikkaku said staring down at him as if seeing him for the first time

Yumichika knew for a fact that un-showered and half-dressed, completely hard and partially covered in Ikkaku's own fluid he was anything but beautiful, it warmed him inside to know Ikakku thought so, not that he'd let him know that, he rolled his eyes,

"Of course I am" he said arrogantly, knowing from the smirk on Ikkaku's face the man wasn't buying it one bit

Ikkaku shook his head and leant down sucking gently on the pale patch of skin under his ear,

"I'll bet you look beautiful no matter what you're doing, even when I have you bent over, your legs wrapped around me, pounding into you so hard it'll shake the cupboards. I'll bet that when you screw your face up and cry out when you come you still look fucking fantastic, and when you're laying there all sweaty and worn out, with my come dripping down your legs you'll still manage to pull it off" Ikkaku was eyeing him lustfully, his eyes trailing across each part of Yumichika's naked body as he mentioned it, his fingers playing patterns on the strangely soft skin. Yumichika groaned and gave up trying to form a sentence coherent enough to be a retort, Ikkaku could do whatever the hell he liked after that speech, he pulled enough words together to tell him that and the man grinned.

Ikkaku gently moved Yumichika's legs round his waist and pulled his hips into him, half seating the smaller man on his lap,

"Tab A, slot B, just like a women" he said grinning, Yumichika barely even noticed as he felt Ikkaku's slick head press into him. No preparation; the thought thrilled him, he'd always enjoyed the sting of suddenly being stretched to far, but had yet to find a willing partner. He noted vaguely he'd been called a woman and made a note to bring the point up later, right now though he was far to distracted by the thick feeling of Ikkaku inside him. The man hadn't even started to move yet, Ikkaku was leaning forward, breathing heavily as he fought to control the urge to thrust wildly into his slim partner, Yumichika could feel his pulse along the length inside him, he knew his heart was pumping fast and he was holding back both to allow Yumichika to adjust and to stop himself from losing control, the dark haired man leant upwards pressing his lips across the taught skin of Ikkaku's neck and finally his lips,

"Don't hold back on my account, I remember a conversation about being pounded so hard we make the room move, prove those weren't just empty words" Yumichika knew he was playing with fire, giving Ikkaku free reign over anything was like telling Zaraki not to hold back in a fight.

Ikkaku looked down into Yumichika's eyes and grinned,

"Don't moan at me when you're sore in the morning" and he snapped his hips back, pushing into Yumichika hard and fast, one hand still tangled together with both of his restraining the light body. Yumichika cried out, arching up into the motion and closing his eyes, this was what he had been craving in every other encounter. The sharp tang of pain followed by the smooth wave of pleasure, the knowledge his partner knew he would not break and was not afraid to play rough with him, Yumichika was not in the eleventh division for nothing.

He pulled a hand free, wrapping his arm around Ikkaku's sweaty back, pulling himself upwards, his hips rocking back and forth matching each and every thrust, driving Ikkaku deeper each time,

"Harder, I think there are still some things on top of the bedside table" he whispered biting down on Ikkaku's each stopping when he tasted blood and licking up the liquid. Ikkaku's reaction was instant, his body tensed at the pain and he pulled hi face back capturing Yumichika's lips biting down on them, leaving behind dark bruises as he complied with the request, reaching back to push Yumichika's legs over his shoulder and speeding up. He could feel Yumichika twitching around him and knew the man was close, the nails digging into his back gave a good indication as well and he could feel his own impending release. Leaning forward and bending Yumichika almost in half he put a last spurt of energy into the final thrust, pushing forward hard enough to drive themselves and the futon several inches across the floor. Yumichika cried out, biting down onto Ikkaku's shoulder as he came between them messily, Ikkaku groaned his own release emptying himself into Yumichika breathing his name softly as he lowered them both back onto the futon. They lay there breathing heavily, Ikkaku not willing to give up his position still inside the other, Yumichika not wanting to tell him to move, he knew he probably looked distinctly unbeautiful right now, all sweaty with the remnants of both of them covering him and he had to admit for the first time he didn't care. All he cared about right now was the warm feeling surrounding him and Ikkaku breathed softly along his neck, lips still pressing gently kisses on him. He sighed happily sliding easily into sleep, paying no attention as Ikkaku half hearted pulled a blanket over them.

***

Yumichika was immediately aware of being watched when he woke the next morning, and opened his eyes cautiously. The warmth still surrounding him told him Ikkaku at least hadn't bolted the minute he woke up,

"Morning" he said looking up at the eyes hovering over him "Could you possibly not stare at me, it make my reiatsu tingle unpleasantly"

Ikakku looked away, moving to lay down beside him "You look funny when you sleep" he said "You're face goes all relaxed and you lose that prissy uptight expression"

Yumichika opened his mouth to protest, waking up to an insult was not how he wanted the proverbial morning after to go, Ikkaku glanced over grinning,

"Oh shut up, you looked nice, you think I was staring for my own health?"

Yumichika closed his mouth, and looked about suddenly nervous "I half expected you to be gone" he said quietly

"It's my room, idiot"

Yumichika's face hardened and he flung the cover off rolling over "well I'll be leaving then" he said flatly, fighting to keep any emotion out of his voice. A hand on his wrist stopped him, Ikkaku was holding him,

"Sit down you moron, you really think so little of me, that you have to even mention me leaving?"

Yumichika realised he'd upset his friend by implying he'd fuck and leave, he looked down a little ashamed and obediently sat back down,

"You were drunk last night, I know you well enough to know you make decisions rashly when your drunk"

"I make decisions with my heart without thinking when I'm drunk" he said softly, tipping Yumichika's head back to look into his eyes "yeah when I woke up I was a bit shocked to see you curled up against me, and for a moment I panicked and tried to pull away. But you did this little snuffly thing and…" he paused taking a breath "I might have been drunk, but I never do anything I don't want no matter what my state of mind is, and I remember everything we did last, everything I said and I know, even if my brain hasn't quite caught up, I know this is right" he cupped Yumichika's slim jaw "I said I don't live with regrets, I'm glad I won't have to live with this one" he reached in and kissed him gently "come back to bed you wore me out" he said soflty smirking as Yumichika whacked him lightly on the arm, they lay down together, Yumichika tucked against Ikkaku's strong chest,

"If you don't mind me being nosy what made you decide?" he asked quietly, he'd been wondering every since Ikkaku had kissed him last night, he'd never given any indication of being attracted to him before, but from his actions last night this was something he'd been debating at least subconsciously for some time.

"Watching you dance, seeing you wrap yourself around strange men, it just made me angry, so I drank more than I usually did, which made me annoyed and then that last guy you were dancing with, he kept looking at you like you were meat" he snorted "I though you were gonna end up being fucked right there, so I left. When you came out a few moment later.." he hesitated "..I dunno just something inside me snapped, part of me wished you'd just stayed there so I could be angry with you, but the other part was happy you'd left to see how I was. Couldn't decide if I wanted to punch you or make out with you"

"So you passed out instead" Yumichika said with a grin lazily trailing a finger up and down Ikkaku's side

Ikkaku glared at him "Yeah, thank you Yumi for reminding me" he grumbled "Point being, when I woke up and you were still here, all relaxed without any of that crap on your face" he shrugged "I guess the part of me that wanted to kiss you won"

"Glad it did, I'd hate to have to beat your arse into submission" Yumichika said sweetly

Ikkaku snorted "yeah right 'Mr. Take me harder'" he goaded

Yumichika raised an eyebrow "I am not ashamed of my position in the bedroom, just so long as I can beat you from here until next Tuesday with a katana that's fine" he said snidely

"Uh huh" Ikkaku knew it was empty talk, they were both evenly matched and neither had won a duel against the other in years, always ending in exhausted draws

"You really think I look nice with out anything in my hair?" Yumichika said suddenly, his voice loud in the silence

Ikkaku rolled his eyes "No matter what's happening you're always worried about your looks, yes I've always said that to you, you just never listened. I like your face when it's not hidden behind stupid fluffy bits of dead birds"

Yumichika hummed softly to himself and pressed in closer to the warm chest, he could already feel sleep pulling him back and as relaxed as he was in Ikkaku arms he went easily.

The next day when he showed up for work at the division he'd mysteriously 'lost' his red and yellow feathers and he amused himself by counting how many times he could distract Ikkaku by fluttering his eyelashes at him, Ikkaku repaid the favour by surprising him in dojo showers later. The rest of the division never did manage to work out how the shower head was ripped from the wall, or why there were nail marks in the tiling on the ceiling. Yumichika, being in charge of all repairs decided to keep the damaged tiling, it made him smile every time he saw it and it was actually worth the three broken nails he now had.

* * *

i think..secretly...yumi is a masochist...just a little...XD


End file.
